Choosing the Right Adoptive Family for Your Baby.

What are the non-negotiables for you: open or closed adoption, religious preference, do you want your child to be the oldest or to already have siblings, do you are about the gender of the parents, would a single-parent household be good? Write down all of the must haves first, it doesn’t matter what they are since they are things that are important to you.

Then, what are the next things that are important but not a deal-breaker? Things like, what state does the family live in, does this family have interests or observe some of the same traditions as you. Again, write it all down.

Once you have a list of what makes up the perfect family for you, you can begin looking.

You have made your list, but finding the right family isn’t just an exercise in box checking. You may find a family situation that is an exact match but doesn’t feel quite right. That’s ok.

Finding the right adoptive family is an emotional decision as well. Even though everything you could want for your child is in Family A, Family B feels right, no further explanation is needed.

Do not hesitate to talk with all of the families that interest you, and them make up your mind.

Like I said in Step Two, meet with as many families as you need to to make sure you are comfortable with your decision. Making a connection with the family you eventually choose is very important.

When you are speaking with families ask questions. It is almost like conducting an interview! Find out what kinds of things are important to them and what kinds of things they value. This is the only way to make sure you have a good fit.

This step is important especially if you want an open adoption situation. The relationship that you build with your adoptive family in the early days will only grow stronger over time.

Remember, during the entirety of this process, you are in charge. If, after getting to know a family, it begins to not feel right, you are completely within your right to choose a different family.

Take your time when making the decision about who will raise your baby - there is no rush. This is likely one of the biggest decisions you will make in your life so you are justified in going slowly when choosing the right adoptive family. Do what feels right for you.

Also, if you start to get overwhelmed by the choices and possibilities, take a couple of days off. Because this is such a big decision, do not let people attempt to influence your decision or make you feel like you have to choose someone they think is perfect. When you close your eyes, you should be able to imagine the family situation that you chose for your baby and be happy about it.

This is your child’s future, a hand-picked family for them is your chance to start them down a path that is just right for them.